His cheating was unfulfilling for him, because the woman he met on Ashley Madison, and had befriended on facebook and their mafia wars, as well as exchanging email addresses and cell numbers. We were both lucky I caught him at that point.
He has never handled my anger well. This was the worst he has ever seen too. After being busted he was being all cocky and refusing to come home, until I remembered what I would have done as a young woman and started blowing up his phone, threatening to destroy our home. Then he returned briefly. I was yelling a good bit, and he took off…in my car. I only had a door key fob for his. He brought my car back after I made him understand that the longer he was gone the more of his crap was being thrown from his vehicle to the street. It was insane. He called me as many names as I called him. I am 45 and he is 49. We aren’t new at this. We are just plain crazy together.
I would have left anyone before him for this, in one hot second. He and I talked it out over a couple days. I moved into the guest room until I had an itch I needed help with 
I’m kind of like a man when it comes to that. I don’t need to feel good to feel good at all. We are finally talking better then ever before and he has actually shown a tad of empathy an instance or two now. We are both in therapy and are hoping to rebuild our marriage. Right now we know that we love each other and that neither of us intends to ever move from our home.
I’m back in our bedroom, but still have stuff in the guest room. I’ve been calling it my room. I just need to have the option right now. We have always given each other lots of freedom. He has been gone the past couple of nights and now I don’t trust him. I am so angry about that. I want my freedom and I wont be one of those women who spy, nag, or beg for love. I’m keeping the other bedroom until I trust him again, in case it never happens.
I have loved him forever. Had I not been raised a lady, he would have been mine at 18 instead of waiting until I was 40ish. Forever I will love him. It will be as a friend if it has to be. I pray it is more. I pray to trust him again.
